Decent Films Blog

Review Haiku Riddles!

Posted Apr 7th 2010, 07:03 AM

A couple of days ago over at the Arts & Faith message board, for reasons I won’t recount, someone started a thread called “Review Haiku,” dedicated to three-line, 17-syllable movie reviews. Merriment ensued. Here’s an early contribution:

Jaws: The Revenge (1987, Joseph Sargent)

Shark has G P S
To locate Chief Brody’s wife
In the Bahamas

So far, so good. I contributed a number myself … then last night I proposed a twist: What if we wrote review haiku without giving the film title, so that readers had to identify the movie being reviewed?

Here, for your amusement, are the eight haiku I’ve written so far. The first two are the most self-evident since I didn’t originally write them as riddles and the references are pretty explicit. After that they get progressively harder, depending of course on which movies one has seen.

Answers are below. Don’t check them too quickly — and don’t hie on over to Arts & Faith and read the thread (which reveals most or all of the title reviewed below) until you’re done here!

Enjoy!

  1. Xanadu is dark
    He had it all, then lost it
    Rosebud is no more.
  2. (answer 1Citizen Kane (1941))

  3. It was a great show
    Tokyo calls, you don’t hear Buzz
    Not your finest hour.
  4. (answer 2Toy Story 2 (1999))

  5. They awakened us
    Called from the moon and beyond
    Childhood starts anew.
  6. (answer 32001: A Space Odyssey (1968))

  7. She watched from the tree
    Now the moon reaches for her
    Who will miss the boat?
  8. (answer 4Sabrina (1954))

  9. Heroes aren’t wanted
    An old fan shakes all you love
    You should have been kind.
  10. (answer 5The Incredibles (2004))

  11. Lie boldly, sweet girl
    And speak truth more bravely still
    See, the sun still shines.
  12. (answer 6Sophie Scholl: The Final Days (2005))

  13. No more us and them
    You can’t go home, but he can
    You see through new eyes.
  14. (answer 7District 9 (2009))

  15. Together again
    Past fire and tears. Nothing left
    But a battered tin.
  16. (answer 8Grave of the Fireflies (1988))

Tags: Oddments & Humor, Reviews in Verse (Written), Reviews In Verse

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