Okay, that’s not literally true, because in order to write a line about Sex and the City 2 I would have had to screen the film, and it’s hard to imagine anything being worth that, especially in the same week as Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time and Agora. I’m not sure my soul wouldn’t implode.
Still, a scathing review can have a therapeutic effect, even if you didn’t see the actual movie. You can hate the movie vicariously, while enjoying a heightened sense of well-being from not actually being exposed to the film. Andrew O’Hehir’s (occasionally obscene) Salon.com review of Sex and the City 2 has some potentially therapeutic lines. I like this description of the marital angst of one of the heroines and her no-longer-charming prince:
Oh, the suffering! They’re like the wounded couple in Bergman’s “Scenes From a Marriage,” except with millions and millions of dollars and no souls. When Carrie asks Big, “Am I just a bitch wife who nags you?” I could hear all the straight men in the theater — all four of us — being physically prevented from responding.
See? I was one of the straight men who wasn’t there, but I didn’t fully appreciate it … until now.